just a lil smthng i wrote for new yr :)

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL MORNING.AS SHE WOKE UP THE SUN RAYS FELL ON HER BROWN HAIR MAKING THEM LOOK A SIGHT.
RUBBING HER EYES AND STILL YAWNING SHE STEPPED OUT OF HER BED.STEPPING HER FEET IN HER SOFT SLIPPERS SHE FIRST WALKED TOWARDS THE BALCONY,THE FAVOURATE PLACE OF HER HOUSE.THE WIND IN HER FACE MADE HER FEEL FRESH AND THE GARDEN BELOW MADE UP FORA NICE SIGHT IN THE MORNING.STEPPING BACK INSIDE SHE CHECKED HER CELL PHONE. "2 NEW MESSAGES " "I MISSED CALL "
WHO COULD IT BE? "INBOX OPENED"JUST FORWARDS BY SOME OLD FRIENDS MAYBE THEY WERE THINKING OF HER."ILL FORWARD SOMETHING LATER."THE MISSED CALL WAS FROM HER CRUSH.WELL NICE START TO THE DAY SHE THOUGHT.
SHW SAW THE TIME.IT WAS 8.15. SHIT!! COLLEGE BEGAN AT 10 AM.
SHE HAD 2 LEAVE HER HOUSE BY 9.15 MAX TO BE THERE ON TIME.SHE WAS ALREADY RUNNING A BIT LATE.HURRYING THROUGH HER DAILY CHORES,SHE HEARD HER DAD ON THE PHONE SPEAKING TO A RELATIVE.HER DAD STILL SHOUTED ON THE PHONE ON A LONG DISTANCE CALL, SO FUNNY THEY DONT KNOW CONNECTIVITY HAS CHANGED NOW.SIGNALS ARE MUCH BETTER NOW.ANYWAY SHE HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO CONCENTRATE ON.GETTING READY WONDRING WHAT TOP SHOULD SHE WEAR? BLUE WOULD BE PERFECT SHE THOUGH..HER CRUSH LOVED BLUE ....
BUT WITH SOME MISTAKE OF FATE SHE COULD NOT FIND THE TOP AND ENDED UP WEARING WHITE.SHE LOOKED PRETTY ANYWAY SHE THOUGH. "NOW I HAVE 2 LEAVE." COMING OUT OF HER ROOM SHE SAW HER MOM PRAYING."SHE DOES THAT EVERYDAY WHAT USE IS IT? WE STILL HAVE NOT BECOME AS RICH AS THE AMBANI S OR I AM NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS ASH !!SHE DOES NOT HAVE A CAR PICK HER UP EVERYDAY...." AND HER EYES SAW THE CLOCK .EXACT 9 AM. OH GOD SHE WOULD HAVE TO GOBBLE HER BREAKFAST, WHICH SHE DID.GRABBING HER BAG SHE PUT IN A FEW BOOKS, REARRANGED HER HEADPHONES.HOW THEY GET TANGLED ON THIER OWN SHE NEVER KNEW AND IT WAS SURE SO IRRITATING.THERE WERE MANY THING S SHE DINT KNOW SO IT S OKAY SHE THOUGHT.
SHE PUT A BOTTLE IN AND SCREAMED GOODBYE TO DAD.MOM HAD ALREADY LEFT,DAD WILL ALSO NOW IN FEW MINUTES.STEPPING OUT OF HER HOUSE SHE SWITCHED ON HER FM.SHE LOVED LISTNING TO THE FM. WALKING TO THE BUS STOP AN OLD FAVORATE STARTED PLAYING ON THE FM STATION.GOD THE SMALL HAPPINESSES IN LIFE ARE HEAVEN .SHE SO LOVED THESE MOMENTS.LISTNING TO AN OLD FAVORATE,TROTTING ON THE STREET.WONDERFUL CLIMATE NOT TO HOT NOT TO COLD. SHE WOULD GET MARRIED ON SUCH A WONDERFUL DAY.GETTING INTO THE BUS SHE BEAMED A SMILE AT EVERYONE.IT FELT NICE.LISTNING TO MUSIC LOST IN HER THOUGHTS .
SHE GOT DOWN AT THE STOP.JUST ONE CROSSING AND FIVE MINUTES LATER SHE LL BE IN COLLEGE.SHE WAS A BIT LATE BUT DOESNOT MATTER.

SUDDENLY THE MUSIC STOPPED.SHE FELT WIERD.SHE DINT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED FOR A SECOND BUT SHE WAS IN MID AIR.BEFORE SHE COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT JUST HAPPENED SHE HEARD SOMEONE SCREAM "LOOK AT THE GIRL, SHE S IN A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT" AND THEN THERE WAS A THUD AND SHE LAY IN A POOL OF BLOOD.HER EYES WERE STILL OPEN .SHE SAW PEOPLE WALKING AROUND HER, CROWDING AROUND HER ,WALK AWAY FROM HER BUT COULD NOT DO OR SAY ANYTHING.AT THAT POINT ALL SHE COULD THINK OF WAS HER MOM S COMFORTING HUGS, HER LAP WHERE SHE WOULD LIE FOR HOURS...BUT SHE HAD NOT SINCE A LONG TIME NOW.SHE MISSED THE GOOD NIGHT KISSES SHE WOULD GIVE HER BUT HAD STOPPED GIVING THEM.SHE SAW HER DAD CARRYING HER AS A KID,THE ONLY CONVERSATION WITH DAD NOW WERE OF QUESTION AND ANSWERS..WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?WITH WHOM ARE YOU GOING?HOW MUCH MORE CASH DO U NEED?WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?SHE COULD NOT REMEMBER TELLING HIM THAT HE HAS VERY MELODIOUS VOICE, THAT SHE LOVED THE WAY HE CARRIED HER, LOVED THE WAY HE DRESSED ..BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY SHE LOVED HIM...SHE LOVED BOTH OF THEM...HER MOM WHO ALWAYS PAMPERED HER HER DAD WHO ALWYS TREATED HER LIKE A PRINCESS.....SHETHOUGH ABOUT HER FRIENDS....WHO SHE LOVED SO MUCH...WHO WHERE THERE FOR HER ALWAYS ..SOME TIMES EVEN WHEN SHE DINT WANT THEM TO BE THERE....SUPPORTING HER CARING FOR HER...FORWARDING MESSAGES.....


BUT SHE NEVER GOT TO TELL ALL OF IT.SHE NEVER GOT TO TELL HER FAMILY WHAT THEY MEANT TO HER..AND NEVER MANAGED TO EXPRESS TO HER FRIENDS HOW IMPORTANT SHE CONSIDERED THEM TO BE....IT WAS THE END.....A NO RETURN ZONE.....
SHE COULD SEE OR HEAR NOTHING NOW. IT WAS ALL DARK.SLOWLY SHE DRIFTED AWAY FROM SPACE.....






DEAR FRIENDS,
THIS IS A LITTLE SOMETHING I WROTE .....IT S NEW YEAR TIME AND I THINK ALL OF US ARE LUCKY TO HAVE A NEW CHANCE TO US.LIFE IS UNPREDICTIBLE AND SOMETIMES EVEN SHORT.YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT MAY HAPPEN.
SO USE THIS CHANCE.TELL THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE HOW MUCH TEY MEAN TO YOU.MAKE NEW AND TRUE FRIENDS.
VALUE THE OLD ONE S.FORGET THE PAST.AND FORGIVE EVERYONE...EVEN YOURSELF IF YOU HAVE DONE ANYTHING WRONG.WE GET A CHANCE TO LIVE ONLY ONCE.LET US UTILIZE THIS AND VALUE WHAT WE HAVE :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR :)
MAY THIS YEAR BRING YOU HAPPINESS AND SATISFACTION IN EVERYTHING YOU DO :)

REGARDS ,

NIKITA. L. DADLANI

states....my 1st evah poem i published ol...

der s dis black patch in front of mah head...
n dat s all dat i can see...
i try and luk beyond...
but dat s all mah eyes can c afterall...
i hear whispers all around..
but cant comprehend a single one out..
i wonder wat s so wrong wid me..
i on a side..n every 1 s against me.
dat black patch seems getin bigger n bigger...
trying 2 suck me in..
im half swallowed n not tryin a inch
2 get out of it..
i luk on suprised..
wat has happend...
i wanna understand wat d whispers r ...
but all i can possible understand now is all dark...
i wanna tell a lot of things...explain mah love..
but i hav words 2 express ..
i thot i was emotionless...
but now i can see an emotion of despair
emotion of wanting u forever in mah arms...
emotion of holding on 2 u forever in mah life..

but all i hold now is d black patch...stuck in mah soul..eatin me up...

slowly..painfully....
sadistically...
emerging more and more victorious...
after every moment...
after every moment dat im breathing...it s sucking away mah life..
slowly..painfully and sadistically...............\

4ever n 4ever

incomplete...

i luk @ u.....u r staring @ me..
i try not 2 luk in ur eyes...
2 scared 2 let u know wat mah heart beholds...
it s a unique feelin...
i try 2 understand...
i wanna hold u in mah arms...
n nevah let u go away from mah sight....
i try 2 luk away..
i feel shy...
i feel tremors goin through mah self..
i IGNORE all...
i luk away...
as far as i can c in the horizon..
as away as i can get from you..
dis feelin paralysis me
makes me loose control ovah mah senses...
i loose mahself in ur fragrance
but i know dis is not wat i want...
i luk back @ u..still staring in mah eyes..
i smile @ u...
n sigh inside...
dat smile which covers a million tears inside...

LOVING YOU

DER S SOMETHING I WANT 2 TELL...
BUT U ARENT AROUND 2 LISTEN...
DER S A PLACE 4 U IN MAH HEART ..
WHICH I WANT U 2 KEEP..
BUT U ARENT AROUND YET AGAIN ....
I WAIT 4 U....
BUT WHAT I FAIL 2 REALIZE IS... ..
YOU HAVE ALWAYZ BEEN AROUND...
LIKE NOW...
SO NOW I KNOW WAT EXACTLY 2 SAY....
I KNOW EXACTLY HOW 2 FEEL....
I KNOW EXACTLY WAT 2 TELL YOU..
ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE BEEN REALLI MISSIN YOU....N HOW ...
DER S DIS OUR SONG I WANT U 2 LISTEN 2...AND HOW
I WISH 2 SPEND DOS COSY MOMENTS ALL WID U..
DOS RAINY DAYS AND WINDY NYTES...
HAVING EACH ODER 4 WARMTH...
I WANT 2 LUK IN UR EYES..
AND SOAK IN UR LOVE...
I WANT 2 TELL THE WHOLE WORLD HOW I FEELL..
COS YES IT S REALLI NOT EVERYDAY ..DAT IM IN LUV...
...
BUT OFFLATE...I HAVE BEEN JUS FALLIN IN AND IN LUV..
ALL OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN..
ALL WID ...
" YOU"

IT S A MAGICAL SPELL DAT U HAVE CAST...
I JUS CANT HELP NOT THINK BEYOND YOU..
AND STILL LOVE EACH BIT OF MAH LIFEE.....
COS NOW YOU ARE MAH LIFE...
AND I M REALLI LOVIN IT...
HAVIN YOU SOO CLOSE.....
BUT..
SUTYMES..
I DO GET SCARED...
OF LOOSIN YOU..
OF GOING FAR AWAY FROM YOU..
BUT YOU KNOW WAT??
WHEREVER I GO..
WATEVER I DO..
ILL STILL BE ALWAYS THINKIN OF YOU....
YOU R IN MAH EVERY BREATH...
UR NOW A PART OF A SOUL..
U R SUCHHA AN INTEGRAL PART OF ME NOW..
DAT ILL ALWAYS CARRY U AROUND ..
TILL MAH LAST BREATH..
LOVE YOU...
ALWAYS...AND 4EVER...
AND 4EVER..
:)

MISS YOU

i woke up dis mornin...
slightly scared..slightly muffled...
BUT STILL THNKIN OF YOU...
wat hav u done 2 me??'
mornins begin wid u...
n nights end wid u....
all mah thoughts r jus about u...
d world jus ceases 2 exist any more...
but wat does exist..
is you...
in mah thoughts...
in mah dreams...
in mah lyfee...
i wonder wat r u doin??
i wonder if u ever thnk of me.??
i wonder if u ever miss me d way i miss you...
i wonder....
jus about you...
i wonder how wonderful life will b..
wen i can have u....
4 ever..and 4 ever...
in mah arms...
luvin me more dan i luv u...

den i try and pinch mah self out of mah dreamz....
ur gone....
far away....
ur not in mah sight...
but ur still always in mah vision.......
....
in every heart beat....

missin u...
luv u...
4ever...

:(

SORRY

somewhere i heard ..
an angels cry..
somewhere i heard
a devil sigh..
somewhere down the line.
i heard a whisper...
i saw around..
and kept trying to hear.
i looked at ur photo..wishing you were here...
n remembered d last days..
moments are blurred..
memories are soon getting fazed..
it s been long..
but the wound still feels fresh..
i attempt conversing to you...
your eyes in the picture are so catchy..
for a second..i feel..
your right here..
listening to mah woes..
making me relax...and making me feel..
your are gonna make everything all right..
i wonder how life wud be..
if you wud still b a part of me..
where i cud..say anything ..n do anything..
n still get away with it..
cos i had you in my life..
i miss...
dos days..


i wonder where you are?
doing what?
if you remember a thing?
if you are the god i speak to..
if you are the one..
who gives me hope.all d time..
i feel sorry for d wrongs i committed...
i wonder if u have forgiven me??
may b u have..
but i havent...
n i guess..
i never will

not yet time for farewell...

how much i love you....
no 1 knows..
how much i miss you..
i wish i cud show..
each tyme..
i pretend..
i dnt care..
i cry a thousand buckets right der...
i wish
you wud
jus gimme a deeper look,
look in d eyes..
penterate my soul..
n say..
"darlin, it s ohk..
IM DER!
N I KNOW YOU CARE.."

i wait every sec
4 d moment 2 cm..
wen finalli i can b in ur arms..

i luk in ur eyes..
i hope 2 c my picture..
n i hope 2 not c her image..
BUT IT S RYTE DER...

piercin my heart....
wrenchin my life..
creatin a dead end..
i hate 2 cry..
no use ryte?
u re already gone anyway..
in her arms...
i guess im not runnin in ur mind now..
not d way u run in my mind...
it s difficult 4 me
2 thnk about smthng else..
it s difficult 2 fall asleep @ nyte..
wen all im doing ...
is thnkin of you...
day in and day out..
wishin 4 a splendid future..
OUR FUTURE..
but isnt it like dreamin a mermaid can live on land...?

but i guess arial was succesfull...!!..

i hope i m 2..
i hope for a day,

wen u luv me 2...
wen u want me 2..
wen u want 2 c me smile 2..
wen i can luk @ u..
n say..

UR MINE..
n u can tellme dat 2...
and v spend our lives happily ever after...
a cindrealla story..

i wonder how much of dis will cm true..

as days pass...i wonder how ll v land up?
as lovers?
mayb long lost frnds...
mayb best frnds?
mayb v dnt spk...
mayb v jus move on..
or grown out of each oder...
but of all d pieces o hearts u recieved..
1 small 1 is mine..
pls do remember..
a soul considers u her everythng..
even if she doesnt show....
n she does care 4 u a lot..
so much dat she can not onli sacrifice her luv..
but also luv d 1 u luv...

but still will always love you....

take care ....

n keep smilin sweetheart....

ill b prayin 4 u every minute..

ill never miss you....cos u r runnin in my mind every second...

but i hope u thnk of me smtymes...jus a thot..
bieng thought abt by u...
is also like a dreaM cm true..


i hope i dnt hav 2 say goodbye....ever.....

i dnt know if i ll b able 2 live after dat.....

do b happy...!!...


cos i hav sacricficed more dan my life
4 ur happpines..
i hope 1 day...

u realize ......
n if u dnt...

jus rem...
u ever need smbody..

u got sm1 who ll stand by you 4 d rest of her lyfe..

getting ovah you......

i sit down....
stare @ d wall..
al knoted inside..
i hope u cant feel ..
how scared mi..
nervous for all d wrong reasons..
concerned 4 a person...
love a person..
all 4 noin...
i try lukin @ u..but
wen u catch me..
lukin @ u..
i look away..
n say "WHAT??"
no...
dis is not wat i planned 2 do in life..
no i din tplan 2 b hopelessly in love wid you..
all i wanted ...
was a simple lyfe..
a simple you..
a simple us...n no 1 else.
but complications hav arrived....
n dnt seem 2 go..
a confused heart ...
see s black all over..
ohk...
i promise my self..
next tyme..
im not jus lettin my self get weak in d knees..
cos i c him..
but all i do..anywaz..
is thnk of you..
wen d music blares..
wen d tv s switched on...
wen d pc s started up...
i look in my fone..mayb u left a msg..
or did i miss your call??
did i make you angry?
shud i jus call?
mayb ur busee...
mayb ur not..
mayb i shudnt call up all d tyme..
mayb i shud jus learn 2 live widout you..
mayb im jus pushin my self in d wrong direction..
mayb ..
im gonna miss you but 4 sure..
:(
hopelessely in love..
i gues...
dos good moments make me smile...
d present makes me cry..
i guess .ill b happy soon..
ill b far away from you..
or mayb ..jus get over you..
one fine mornin..
my prayers will b answered..
im gonna get over you...
n not wanna meet u ever again..
it seems strange..thnkin..'
lyfe widout u...
like life widout a meaning...
but i guess life doesnt end?
people move on..
life is big...
n like dey say..
der r oder fish in d water..
so mayb v arent meant 2b..
mayb my love isnt realli true...
may i actualli dnt care 4 u....
or mayb i do...
and you do 2..
but dis aint gonna work out ever ...
so i go on n on..
i try not lookin @ u...
try not lookin @ my phone all d tyme..
i m gonna get over u sweetheart..
but it ll jus take sm tyme..
n d day im over you..
will b d wen finnalli my wish will cm true.......

a dream

I DREAM OF YOU EVERY NIGHT..
2 B IN YOUR ARMS..
2 LUV YOU..
2B LUVED BY YOU..
2 LOOK IN UR SOULFUL EYES..
N TELL YOU
UR ALL MINE...........
WANNA DANCE WID U D WOLE NITE...
& AS I SWAY IN YOUR ARMS...
MY HEART SKIPS A BEAT.. N URS DOES 2..
I PINCH MYSELF 2 TELL IT S TRUE...
IT SEEMS SO WONDERFUL...
SLOW MUSIC SURROUNDS US...
EVERY MOMENT SEEMS LIKE A THOUSAND LIFETYMES...
AND YET...TYME IS RUNNIN....

DER S SO MUCH I WANT 2 GIVE YOU...
IT S D LOVE OF A LIFETIME..
WANNA MAKE UP FOR ALL THE TYME I WASNT WID YOU..
I WANT 2 HEAR ALL YOUR STORIES ..
TELL YOU ABOUT MINE..
HOPIN D DAY NEVER ENDS..
IM WID YOU..
D WOL TYME..
WER U VE EYES ONLY 4 ME..
WEN U NEVER WANT 2 LOOSE ME 2..
WEN U LUV ME 2..
N TELL IT 2..
WEN IT S A PARADISE WEN V R 2GETHER...
WEN U WILL DO ANYTHNG 4 ME 2...
I DREAM OF US...
OF A NEW BEGINNIN..
I DREAM OF OUR LOVE..
I DREAM .......D LOVESTORY OF A CENTURY..
I DREAM ...
OF ME AND YOU

i love you.... I DO.....

I LOVE YOU..
I JUS PLAIN LUV YOU..
TRIED HIDIN IT..
TRIED FIGHTIN IT
TRIED NOT ACCEPTIN IT.
TRIED RUNNIN AWAY FROM YOU..
TRIED 2 FACE YOU..
TRIED TO HATE YOU..
TRIED 2 HATE MY SELF..
TRIED 2 STOP MYSELF.
TRIED 2 KILL MYSELF..
TRIED 2 END DOS FEELINGS..
DONE ALL OF IT..
BUT FINNALY I ACCEPT..
I STILL LOVE U ..
FROM D BOTTOM OF MY HEART..
DNT KNOW Y..
MAY B LUV TAKES TIME 2 DIE...
MAYB IT DOESNT DIE @ ALL...
I HOPE IT DOES..
I LUV MYSELF 2..
N LUV MY LYFE..
DNT WANNA SPEND MY LIFE DIS WAY...
WAITIN 4 U...

I JUS PLAINLY SIMPLY LOVE YOU..
BEYOND EVERYTHING...
LUV U SO MUCH..
DAT IT S IMPOSSIBLE NOW 2 THNK OF ANY 1 ELSE..
I LL NEVER B ABLE 2 TELL U...
HOW MUCH I WANT 2 HAVE YOU...
HOW MUCH IT MEANS JUS 2 HEAR UR VOICE..
2 C UR SMILE..
BUT IT PAINS MORE..
WEN I CAN JUS LOOK @ U..
N HAVE 2 TELL MY BREAKIN HEART..
DAT I CANT HAV YOU??
Y CANT I?
I LOVE YOU MORE DAN ANYTHG EVER IN DIS WORLD..
WANT U MORE DAN ANYTHNG ELSE..
WANT 2 C U HAPPY 2..
WANT 2 B YOURS..
WANT 2 MAKE U MINE...
Y CANT IT HAPPEN??
Y CANT U LUV ME??
WER DID GO WRONG?
WAT DID I DO SOO BAD?
DAT I CANT DESERVE YOU..
D PERSON I LUVED D MOST..
IN MY ENRTIRE LIFE..
WEN I LUK IN UR EYES..
IM HALF TEMPTED 2 TELL U WAT I FEEL..
EACH TYME I SPK 2 U...
I WANT 2 TELL U..
LUV U 2.!!!
BUT LIFE DOESNT SEEM TO WANT DAT..
DISTANCES HAV GROWN LONG BACK..
LOVE WAS NEVER DER..
WAT I FELT 4 U..
ULL NEVER KNOW...
ULLL NEVER B ABLE 2 LUK IN MY EYES ..
N TELL ME..
"SWEETHEART,I KNOW WAT RU HIDIN IN DER!"
COS U DNT WANT 2 KNOW..
I GUESS U WANT ME AWAY..
IT S HARD 2 DEAL WID D REJECTION...
HARD 2 C U GO AWAY..
HARD 2 CONVINCE MY HEART..
NOPE..HE ISNT CMIN BACK!!..
HARD 2 BELIEVE..HELL NEVER LUV ME...
ME..D 1 WHO LOVED HIM.MORE DAN WAT I EVERI HAD..
NOW I GO AROUND..
WID A BROKEN HEART..
TRYIN 2 RUNWAY FROM ALL UR MEMORIES..
FAKIN A SMILE..
LAUGHIN ALL ALONG..
I CAN SURVIVE..
BUT I CANT LIVE WIDOUT U..
BUT IF DAT S WAT U WANT!!..
ILL DO ANETHNG..U WANT...
COS DAT S WAT I WANT 2 DO ..
ALL MY LIFE..
JUS LOVE YOU...
N LOVE YOU..
TRY 2 B WIDOUT EXPECTATIONS..
COS DIS IS NEVER GOING 2 B RECIPROCATED..
D END HAS BEGIN...
N A NEW BEGINNING WILL SOON BEGIN 2..
ILL HAV MORE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE..
BUT NONE 2 REPLACE YOU
..COS D PLACE YOU HAV TAKEN..
CAN NEVER B GIVEN 2 ANYBODY ELSE..
SO ILL..JUS..
KEEP SIMPLY LUVIN U..WID ALL MY LUV..!!
COS DAT S ALL ICAN DO...

randomnesss...

I LOOK IN YOUR EYES..
I LOOK @ YOU LUKIN @ ME..
I PONDER..
IF ITS JUS ME...
IT ITS JUS ME..2 FEEL DIS WAY..
IF I M D ONLI 1 TO FEEL..
LIKE TAKING YOU IN MY ARMSS...
OWING YOU 4EVER...
NEVER LETING YOU GO..
SCARED 2 HAV YOU..
SCARED 2 LET YOU GO..
I WANT YOU..
BUT YET I DONT..
I WANT 2 C YOU HAPPY..
BUT I WANT 2 C US 2...
I WATCH D SUN SET..
I WATCH AS A NEW END BEGINS...
I BREATHE IN D AIR..
NOT REALIZIN ..
HOW MY LOVE IS GROWING WITHIN.
EVERY MOMENT..
I CANT LOOSE YOU..
BUT MAYB..
INEVER HAD YOU..
MAYB ILL NEVER GET YOU EIDHER..
BUT ILL STILL KEEP WAITIN...

P.S I LOVE YOU

ur eyes now seem d world 2 me..
ur voice seems heaven.
ur touch uplifts me...
ur presence surrounds me...
i feel you around..
even wen ur not...
i c u every wer..
wishin u 2 b there...
wid me...
lukin @ d sunrise..
watchin d sun set..
holdin hands...
sleepin in your arms..
lost in your eyes...
shivering from your touch...
wantin more and more of you....
d day seems longer n longer..
ye time seems runnin away..
i bless d moment wen u enterd my lifee....
i thank god a thousand tymess...4
my blissed moments wid you..
jus being wid seems so spcl...
i seem 2 hav found myself..
wen i found you...
i smile..
i cry..
i laugh...
i dream...
i live..
i love..
i love you...it s awonderfull feelin..
whch i cant express..
love 2 b by your side all d tyme..
luv 2 c u smile..
luv 2 own you..
love 2 b a part of you..
love to care 4 you..
love 2 teaze you...
love 2 have you..
love 2 miss you..
love 2 cry 4 you..
wonder y??
wen did dis happen?
d 1st day i met you?
d 1st day u left me 4 a while....
d 1st day..i realized how much ur smile means 2 me...
or how priceless is ur teardrop 2 me...
wen???
wen did i start singingsongs...
start blushin out of d blue...
small things started makin me smile..
stayin away from you..
meant life s not worthwhile..
:(
..
so is dis it??
is it dat??
is it dat im in love wid you??



P.S I LOVE YOU

....the kid....

THE KID IS HUNGRY...
HE S SEARCHIN ALL AROUND..
THE MOTHER IS NOWHERE 2 B SEEN..
U CANT IGNORE HIM..
HIS DARK FACE..
ILLUMINATED BY DOS DARK BLACK EYES..
WHERE U DNT HOPE 2 C ANYTHNG BUT EMPTYNESS..
HIS CLOTHES SEEM 2 B CLAD ON HIM 4 ATLEAST A YEAR OR TWO..
DEY ARE NOIN BUT MERE RAGS..
DUST COVERS EVERY PART OF THE BODY..
AN EMPTY CROOKED CONTAINER RESTS IN HIS HAND..
U WUDNT DREAM OF SERVIN AN ANIMAL FROM DAT CONTAINER ...
BUT DIS GUY IS GONNA EAT FROM IT..
U THNK U R SO LUCKY 4 ONCE..
A SMILE PLAYS ON UR LIPS..
U STUDY HIM MORE CLOSELY..
DEN U C SMTHNG DAT LEAVES UR MOIST..
IT S HIS SMILE..
HIS SMILE IS SO BEAUTIFUL..
ADMIST HIS SURRUNDINGS..
IT SEEMS LIKE DIAMONDS SPARKLING..
HE SMILES WHEN HE LOOKS @ YOU.
HE PLAYS WITH D STREET DOG..
HE JUMPS IN THE PUDDLE FORMED IN D RAIN..
HIS FACE LITS UP ..
WHEN HE FINDS SMTHNG THROWN AWAY ON THE STREET..
SOMETHING..V MINDLESSLY THROW..
D PURE JOY..
THE PURE BLISS..
LEAVES YOU WITH A STRANGE SATISFACTION..
FOR A MOMENT YOU FORGET WERE YOU ARE..
AND WAT WERE U THNKIN ABT ..
UR PACE SUDDENLY SLOWS DOWN..
N UR TENSIONS DONT SEEM SO BIG DAT DEY CANT WAIT..
INFACT PROBLEMS SEEM 2 DISAPPEAR..
N D BLESSINGS BECOM VISIBLE..
YOU WONDER.
LIFE ISNT DAT BAD .. ..


N DEN I REMEMBER MY DAD..
N HIS WORDS..
"WHEN YOU WANT NEW SHOES ..
THINK ABOUT DOS WHO DONT HAV FEET.."




:)

TRYING 2 REACH THE STARS...
BUT IN THAT QUEST I HAVE LOST TOUCH OF THE GROUND...

LUV.
~NIKSY

PRISONER OF LOVE...

it s been so long..
i cant remember...
since wen r u all over mah thoughts..
since wen..all i can thnk of is you....
since wen i hav 2 remind myself...
dat i dnt hav 2 b thnkin of you all d tyme...
ur voice dat makes me melt..
ur sight dat wells up tears in my eyes...
ur thoughts dat consumate me all d tymee...
ur face dat keeps flashin in mah mind......
ur lovely smile...
makes me sigh smtymes..
how i wish...i cud c it again....
i cud feel d warmth again...
you r all i thnk about..
i dnt know if i ll ever stop...
everytyme i thnk dis is d end...
but....it isnt d tyme yet..
tyme dat i ll get over you..
but a part of me will always stay with you...
i pray everynyte...hope ur fynee....
may god bless you wid all d happiness in d world..
NO I DONT WANT YOU 2 MISS ME.....
i dont want u 2 ever go through d pain i go through 2....
missin you..
love you...
niks...
tk car...

waiting for a miracle..

every nyte seems an endless wait...
mayb..2mrw is d day..
2mrw i m going 2 spk 2 u.
2mrw mayb i m going 2 meet you..
2mrw..thngs will work out..
2mrw life ll show me it s best face...
2mrw ill bang againgst u smwer..
2mrw.....
yah..2mrw is gonna b lucky 4 me..
cos 2mrw im gonna b in ur arms..

...........


n den d 2mrw nevah comes..
bt i stiill keep hoping prayin.wid a dejected heart..
yah..i still hav hope..
mayb...thngs can still work out...
mayb...
mayb..u miss me 2..mayb u love me 2..
mayb u want me 2...
n mayb d day is 2mrw..wen ull tell me dat 2...
i pass through ur house..
wondrin if ull c me...
wondrin if ill get 2 even c u..
face u mayb i cant...
but c u ..is defnately on d top of mah wish list.
d smile dat plays on ur lips..d silent quiver on dem...
ue eyes..whch leave me all shaky...
ur hands whch i long 2 hold...
i wonder all d tyme wat will i do..
der s so much i wanna tell you..
but words still dnt cm..it s d silence whch is also soo comforting wen u around..
but u arent..
:((
i keep wondrin...if u even thnk of me?
mayb u dnt even know i exist anymore in ur life..
mayb u thnk i feel d same 4 you..
hmm
wish u wud know..how imp u r for me...
life s funny...
wen ihad you..i was nevah happy..i always wanted more of you..
now wen i dont..i crave 4 atleast smthng...
i still sit @ d window sill thnkin of you..
dreaming of you every nite..
waking up wid hopefull eyes..
may b..2day is d day wen my life will smile again...
im tired of pretendin...
tired of being away from you...
tired of not havin you..
tired of cryin myself 2 sleep..
tired of loosin you...
tired of dis feelin..
tired of hating my life...
tired of not being loved by you any more..
wish u wud understand...
:((
i wish....

SOME RANDOM LINES I WROTE.......

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING..
I SMILE AT THE PROSPECT OF A NEW MORNING...
AT THE PROSPECT OF GETING TO SEE YOU..
EVEN IF IT S FOR A FEW MOMENTS..
THEN REALITY DAWNS OVER...
YOU ARE GONE..
AND I AM ALONE..
AND A LOT IS LEFT TO BE DONE...
BOOK NEED TO BE READ..
EXAMS NEED TO BE GIVEN...
A LIFE NEED S TO BE LIVED..
AND NOT JUST WASTED BY...
I LOOK AT OUR BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS....
I CHERISH THOSE MEMORIES...
THEY ARE ENSHRINED IN MY HEART FOREVER..
WITH YOU..
BUT THERE ARE OTHER MATTERS WHICH NEED TO BE DEALT WITH..
CANT GRIEVE OVER YOU FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE...
IM SURE YOU WOULD NT LIKE DAT 2...
U ALWAYS WANTED 2 C ME HAPPY..
BUT I WONDER IF YOU THINK IM GONNA B HAPPY WIDOUT YOU BY MY SIDE??
DOS WARM HANDS...DAT COMFORTING VOICE..
DAT LOVE WHICH I NOW MISS...
DAT CARE WHICH I NOW CRAVE....
DAT FRIENDSHIP WHICH CHANGED MY LIFE...
NEVER MAKING ME LOOK AT THINGS THE WAY I USED TOOO...
BUT I HAVE CRIED ENOUGH..WAITED ENOUGH...
WANTED YOU ENOUGH..
LOVED YOU MORE THAN I EVER COULD..
GAVE YOU WAT I CUD....
WANTED YOU MORE DAN ANY1...
PRAYED FOR YOU EVERY SINGL NIGHT..
FELT SOOO COMPLETE WID YOU...
SO SECURE...
SO RIGHT......
BUT...
IF LIFE SEEMS 2 HAV OTHER PLANS ATLEAST FOR NOW..
SO WHILE YOU LIVE LIKE I NEVER WAS..
AND I CRY EACH NIGHT TO SLEEP..
SMDAY SOON..
ILL B OVER YOU..
ILL NEVER FORGET YOU..
BUT THE PAIN IS GONNA GO LESSER EACH DAY..
AND SOON DISAPPEAR IN THE DEEP WORLD OF MY HEART...
IN AN UNTOUCHED CORNER..
WHERE ONCE YOU FOUND THE REAL ME..
YEAH EVERYTHING IS GOIN RIGHT DER..MY TRUST
MY LOVE MY LIFE...
MY FAITH..IN YOU IN LIFE IN LOVE..
THE WAY YOU MADE ME BELIEVE ....
THE WAY YOU MADE ME SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS...
SHARED MY DREAMS....COMFORTED MY FEARS..
DID MORE DAN I CUD ASK FOR ALWAYS.....

AND NOW WEN IT S D END..I WISH IF IT HAD TO END..
CUDNT IT B MORE BETTER??
GOODBYE S WILL ALWAYS HURT...
BUT WHEN YOU DONT EVEN SAY BYE..AND WALK BYE
AS IF NOTHING EVER HAPPEND...PRICKS...

BUT I HAVE TO MOVE ON..
BURRY MYSELF IN WORK...
LIVE MY LIFE...AND NOT JUST MERELY BREATHE...
COS IT S NOT THE END
BUT A NEW START!!!.........



AND AS AGAIN LSOT IN MY THOUGHTS..
A NEW DAY DISAPPEARS..
GIVING WAY TO ANODER ONE..
AND I M STILL STUCK THINKING ABOUT YOU...!!

AN IMPERFECT ENDING TO A PERFECT STORY..

it s midnight...
i have on clue what im up too...
listning 2 a song...'
i suddenly realize
i m thinking of you..
im thinking of our moments...
the pain is slightly less..
but i still cant believe it s over..
how can it be?
it was so perfect..
~! THE PERFECT ~!
i remember the times
you just staRed at me..
when you just got angry on me..
when i would cry if you wont pick up my call..
when we met everyda
spoke sweet nothings 24/7
i wondered if this isi love??
i surely dint have an answer..
but i knew i loved spending time with you
used to go mad if i cudnt speak to you...
n wd start missing you even if you were away for a day..
i knew i wanted to spend my life wid you..
i knew i wud b happy...
i miss holdin ur hand..
gazing in your eyes...
i miss telling you i miss you..
i miss your voice..

dis all seems so unreal..
i cant jus believe you not der..
jus seems like a bad dream..
n ill wake up in the mornin in ur arms...
i try convincing myself..
it s over...he aint there..
but my heart doesnt seem 2 believe...
it still lives in hope...
false hope...
i go anywhere
memories come haunting by...
oh here....we met for the 1st time..
here he held my hand d 1st time...
oh n here how can i 4gt..
oh dis wass our fav place 2 hangout,,,
now it seems 2 difficult 2 walk up to dos places..
widout you by my side. keep imagning
im gonna bang up against you..
smwer...
mayb ull finnally call up...
or atleast a message.....
i dont want a sorry..i just want you back...
i wonder if i meet you what will i say..
what will i do?
will i cry?
will i walk away..
will i behave like nothing is wrong...
will i ask you why you did this???
will i ever meet you???
i wonder...
n i want to know..
do you miss me?
do you think of me..
when you walk in those lanes..
do my dreams haunt you..
do you think how am i..
what will you do of those innumerable secrets v have shared?
n d irretrivable time v spent..
mayb you dont miss me @ all..
neidher do i..
i dont get the time realli..
im so busee thnking about you.....
i wonder if ill ever stop....
if ill ever get over you?
ever 4gt your touch..
ever 4gt d look in ur eyes..
ever 4gt ur touch..
ever 4gt your love..
ever 4 gt our frndship...
ever.......

could not really think of a name..

i find it so funny....'
how people from ur past
make it 2 ur present...
but smhow dnt reach ur future..
when i met you...we re just frnds...
both of us had sm1 else..
but the attraction could not b ignored....
and slowly we came close..
den destinies took us away..
ego s played thier parts to..
still i wasnt that close thati wud miss you...
we had no idea history wud repeat..
but life had other plans...
n look you were in again..
rediscovering you felt so right..
seemed like dis is MY LIFE...
the love was mutual but
as they say love isnt always enough..

n den you were off agAIN...
no good bye s ...no meet u agains..
all our forever promises lay broken on the streets....
i wondeer why?
i wonder how?
if people hav 2 go, y do dey cm?
is it true,every1 has parts 2 play in ur life..
i wish you cud b in mah life 4ever..wen i need u so much..
how can it b ...
dat u dont?
how can it b..
dat v r not meant 2 b?
how can it b...
dat our parts r over already?
wen i met you...
i loved you dat very moment..
n wanted 2 keepp you in mah life 4ever..
i wonder wat u thot?
if u thot d same...
how is it so different now?
wen i revive dos memories ..
i smile..
i thank god..
4 lettin me have you..4 so long.
.man i do so much miss you..
i still feel bad..
i wanted u 4ever.......till d end...
smhow life seemed easier wen u re around..dnt know y..
u jus had dat effect on me..
now i wonder..wen?how?
i dint even realizee....
listinin 2 music...
i thnk of d tymess...
walkin dwn d street ..
i rem our moments..
a silent tear falls down...
n many well up inside....
is this the end/??
or will history again repeat itself?

how fair is lifee......

i try not remembring you..
i try not thinking of you...
but you make your way in my thoughts....
you always knew how to do it from the start...
when we met for the first time..
u told me something and it made me think for a while...
you told me..."LIFE IS ALWAYS UNFAIR"
i never believed you...
never seemed to make sense...
dint understand why it did to you...
over the time we came close...
whenver i cried on my fate..
you always said...
"SWEETHEART LIFE IS UNFAIR"
when the tidings were low..
and nothing seemed right...
you told me the same...
i never understood why..
i never understood how..
i kept pondring...
is life really unfair?
if yes then why so?
if no then y does he say so?
how can HE be wrong??
my heart never agreed....
my soul never seemed 2 believe..
and then...the day was here..
when we said our parting vows..
so this is it....you said...
my heart dint seem 2 believe..
life suddenly felt lika a flower..
whch had bloomed..
and now it was dying away..
and i cudnt do a thng...
i cried to you...
and said..this is not fair.!!...
you retorted back...
"LIFE IS NOT FAIR"
you walked away..
and i still stand there..
time has moved ahead..
and so i guess have you....
not that i havent..
but i ahve drageed you along..
in my thoughts
in my memories..
you still linger on...
you still are the hope in my life
you still are my best friend...
i think about us lot s of times..
n i still wonder...
about what you said...
"life is unfair niksy"
you wud say....and i wud nod my head ..
it s been a few weeks now..'
i havent heard your voice..
havent heard you declare.
life is unfair...
and so every night....
i sleep wid a heavy heart...
not only cos i miss you..
but cos i never understood you...
never understood the words ...
never saw the depth..
i still wonder..what is it that you meant???...

beginning of an end......

SO I THOUGHT I WAS OVER YOU..
FORGOOTON YOU COMPLETLY
IT SEEMED ALL WELL..A BIT 2 GOOD TO BE TRUE...
BUT THINGS DID SEEM 2 WORK..
AND WORK REALLY FAST..
I DID SEEM 2 FALL ASLEEP WITHOUT HAVING TO CRY..
I DID GO OFF MISSING YOU A LIL LESS..
FEELING A LIL LESS WRETCHED...
THE DAYS WERNOT EXACTLY BETTER WITHOUT YOU..
BUT THE WORLD I HAD BUILD WITH JUST ME AND YOU.
.HAD TO BE SHATTERED..
I WAS TRYING NOT TO LET THE PEICES HURT ME..
LET IT BREAK ME MORE...
EVERYTHING WAS WELLL..
EXCEPT A FEW HEART PANGS...
UNTIL 2DE...
NO IDEA WAT HAPPENED..
I KNEW I WAS PLAYING WITH FIRE..
INDIRECTLY TRYING 2 TAKE OUT YOUR TOPIC..
WITH A MUTUAL FRIEND..
I KNEW I SHOULD NT.
AN INNER VOICE KEPT COMPLAIING..
BUT IT WAS NOT AS STRONG AS MY CRAVING FOR YOU.
TO KNOW HOW WERE YOU..
YOU SEEMED TO HAVE BEEN VANISHED INTO THIN AIR.
JUST A BIT OF INQUIRING WOULD NT DO ANY HARM.SURELY..
AND I WILL NOT ASK OF YOU..
JUS SOME ODER FRNDS..
IF SHE TAKES YOUR NAME THEN FINE..
OTHERWISE I WOULD NOT CARE...
AND THE SHE STARTED...
ABOUT YOU...
I FELT MY HEART THROB..
GOD SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW YOU..
WTF IS SHE TALKING ABOUT YOU..
SHE LOOKED @ ME?
SO ULL IN TOUCH?
NO I EXCLAIMED OBVIOSLY NOT..WE WERE NEVER GR8 FRNDS ..
YAY ...WE NEVER WERE REALLY...HUH....
I CAN SEE THAT NOW..
COS GR8 FRIENDSHIPS DONT END DIS WAY..
I FELT LIKE HITING HER..IT WAS NOT HER MISTAKE OBVIOUSLY..
I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I FELT..
IT WAS A FEELING I COULD NOT COMHREND..
I JUST DINT WANT 2 BE DER ANYMORE..
FACE HER...
AND THE CONVERSATION ABOUT YOU...
YOU WERE BUSY IN YOUR WORLD.
NOT EVEN AWARE REMOTELY OF WHAT PAIN YOU CAUSING ME HERE..
I DECIDED 2 KEEP MUM..
LET HER GO ON HOW GOOD YOU ARE..
AND RELIEVE HER LAST FEW MEMORIES OF YOU..
I DINT WANT 2 RELIEVE MINE...

M I STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM?
OR MI OVER HIM?
LOVE NEVER GOES AWAY...
NOR DO MEMORIES..
IN THE TRAIN 2DE...I WAS WONDRING..
I HAD GOT OVER D 1ST ONE...I DINT REMEMBER A WORD ABOUT HIM...
SURELY ILL FORGET YOU TOO.
IT LL JUST TAKE TIMEE...
AND THEN IT LL B FINE..
I WONT MISS YOU..
IWONT FEEL MY HEART JUMP WHEN SOME ONE MENTIONS YOU.
WONT FEEL MY HEARBEAT DISAPPEAR..
THINKING ABOUT THAT YOU DONT CARE..
IM ALIVE OR DEAD...
A SERIES OF THOUGHTS ON ANDD ON....
YOU KEEP COMING IN AND OUT...
SOMEDAY YOU WUD GO OUT COMPLETLY ..
SOMEDAY..POSSIBLY WE LL MEET AGAIN..
BUT TILL THEN...IT S FAREWELL..
WHICH I NEVER THOUGHT IT WILL BE.......


SO TILL THEN..
ILL KEEP MY IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU ON..
STILL IMAGINE OUR FUTURE MEETINGS..
DRIVE MYSELF A LIL MORE MAD..
N DEN FINNALY...
LAUGH IT UP IN A FEW YEARS TIME....
N THINK IT WAS STUPIDITY..
LIKE D 1ST TYME..
I KNOW YOU WOULD WANT THATT TOOO....
WONT YOU ?

my first post..

sooo ....finnally i m writing my first post.....i have been thinking about blogging since so very looong...i had thought about this a lot..what i would like to write..what would i post....a lot was on my mind...but eventually this post is turning out a bit different..but it s cool....people who know me..certianly dont need an introduction.....but for the others....hey..im nikita dadlani.....currently pursuing law....in government law college..mumbai...apaprt from that im just your avarage quirky teenager......
this blog is a gift to myself....on my 18th bday...which is a week away...let s see how this blogging goes..im not sure of myself yet...
i wold love to tell you what you should expect in this blog...but the truth is i have no idea...i dont know if this is jus gonna b a place to let the creative juices flow..and let a few poems n stories be published..or it s gonna be an autoboigraphical blog...there are no certanities in life...ecept maybe death....soo....just keep reading ....for more :)

the next few posts thought will be poems....they are old one s ..already published in my facebook notes section and in my page too ..(yeah i have a page on facebook..funny nah ? here s d link ... musings of a teenager


apart from this one last thing...
i would like to say thanks to everyone who inspired me to start blogging....and all that support i recieved for my previous posts on facebook... THANKS A LOT...this blog is as much you all s as much it is mine..afterall success is too far a goal without inspiration..
:)

n so my first post ends ....and god im already feeling a bit emotional to keep this so short and sweet...i hope this blog does work out fine...

love,